A/N: I am not sorry. I had to.
He may have married another woman, but his heart stayed with her regardless.
His wife, he never truly loved. Never as much as he loved her – not even close. Even as she bore him a healthy, beautiful son, deep down his heart still belonged to her, his first love.
He regretted marrying Sacha. She loved him, but he never returned that love in full. She deserved better. She deserved so much more than to be treated as a mere replacement for her, the dead woman – a woman who, with her sacrifice, managed to remain rooted deep in his heart no matter how many years had passed.
One night, he told his wife about his true feelings. She smiled and walked out of their shared bedroom, but that could not keep her sobs from reaching his ears. He found her in the darkened common living area of the Corsair, crying into the couch. He tried to comfort her, to give her a reassuring hug, but she shrugged him off and told him to stay away.
A month later, they finally divorced. They remained friends and raised their son together, but that was all that was left between them. And with him joining the budding Rebellion, he grew more distant to them than ever. Sacha found love again and remarried a year later, much to his relief. Perhaps he did the right thing, after all. By being truthful and agreeing to a divorce, she could finally find someone that truly deserved her love.
Sometimes he pondered if he had been foolish in not letting himself truly find love again, even with her faint, faint reassurance from the afterlife. He knew she wanted him to be happy more than anything, even at the expense of her memory, but he didn’t want anyone other than her.
“I love a dead woman,” he always said to people asking about his love life. But she isn’t dead; she lives in my heart, my memory, and in the Force
The miisai tree, the one she gave him as a gift several months before her death, was all that remained of her in the physical world. It was a physical reminder that, even after her death, she would always stay with him – her memories would never go away. He wanted to cling to those memories – those sweet, fleeting memories with her for as long as he breathes. With that in mind, he kept the tree strong and healthy in his care until the end of his days.
A few months later, when Vader finally ran his crimson lightsaber through his heart and he crumpled to the cold ground, all he could think about was her. His vision began to blur, but he could still see that familiar scarred face and those familiar green eyes. He laid there in excruciating pain, choking in his own blood and virtually paralyzed when her fingers touched the side of his face to soothe him.
It’s alright, Jax. It’s over – your duties are over.
When he heard those words, he felt like he smiled even as he suffocated.
I’m sorry I left you so quickly. I couldn’t let you and the others die. Not when I can still save you all.
He felt tears well up in the corners of his eyes.
I’m here for you, Jax.
As he breathed his last, the pain quickly subsided and suddenly he could move again. The world around him turned into a blur, and all he could clearly see was Laranth, his first and true love, kneeling next to him and extending her hand.
Come with me…
He reached out for her hand and took it in his, and all he could see was white…
A/N: Yeah, still not sorry.
Sigh, I miss my OTP.
Oh, don’t worry, my headcanon says she still lives somewhere out there. I’m just being a jerk here, heh.